I Bloody Hate Cooking #01 – Is This Your Aunty May’s Quiche Recipe?


I bloody hate cooking.

It’s no secret around these parts that I’m truly not known for my culinary delights.

Food preparation needs to be quick, easy, not take a thousand ingredients or eleventy billion steps and the thrown together offering virtually needs to cook itself or I just don’t bother.

I’d rather clean the toilet with a tooth brush.

Kid you not!

So out of sheer pride, or arrogance, I thought I’d share with you what I slapped up for the troops Tuesday night because I almost nailed it.

Key word – almost.

I give you Aunty May’s Easy Quiche.

Tah dah…


(Doug the husband likes tomato and Mum doesn’t so half and half it is.  I may have needed to pull it back out of the oven because I forgot to place the tomatoes on – it didn’t deflate – another win.)

I have no idea who Aunty May is.  Even though I did have an Aunty May this is not her recipe.

My Mum, the poor love, is clearly disappointed in her daughter’s lack of interest and skill in the kitchen so she is always on the look-out for easy recipes for me to have a crack at and not destroy.

God bless her hopeful, disillusioned heart.

This recipe is one she copied from a magazine somewhere so if this is your Aunty May’s recipe please let me know okay?

Those of you who know me may need to sit down and partake in an alcoholic beverage about now because the shock of me sharing a recipe AND photos of my gastronomic marvels of achievement may be too much for you.

You are excused.


1 onion chopped

½ cup grated carrot

1 cup grated zucchini

1 cup grated cheese

3 rashers bacon diced

5 eggs beaten

½ cup vegetable oil

1 cup of self-raising flour


Throw that stuff all in together in a mixing bowl and combine (“combine” – fancy cooking word).

Spread in a greased (greased? What does that mean?) quiche dish and pop it in the oven at 180 deg for 40 min.

If you are me you then hope for the best.

(My oven is really hot so I have it at 140 deg – might have learnt this the hard way.)


I have NEVER had this quiche rise this much before!  I was beside myself with anticipation of a photo worthy offering.  It may have been due to the fact that I spaced out while beating the eggs so they were whizzed for a good few minutes instead of 15 seconds like I usually do.

Think I was dreaming of Pt Lonsdale beach – oh to be anywhere but the kitchen.

Well, whatever I did it worked… until I discovered this.


It’s a little brown on the edges.  I can live with that, but look closely at the middle and you’ll know why I say I almost  nailed it.

Yep, bloody thing wasn’t cooked in the middle!

I may have said feck it oh dash it!

So back in the oven it went with foil over the top and the troops had to wait a little longer.

I did, however, get a “Yum Dear” from Doug the husband when it was finally placed on the table with the usual preceeding sorry  from me before the first mouthful of anything I cook is consumed.

Mum pushed it around her plate a little and avoided eye contact.

I’m taking it as a win.

I’m allergic to dairy, eggs and gluten so thankfully I didn’t have to eat it.  Another win!

I ate this instead…


Sauteed (didn’t know I knew so many fancy cooking terms) sweet potato, cabbage and spinach sprinkled with almond flakes.

Delicious!  (Really… it is!)

Now, all that’s left to say is that the fairy’s did not appear and clean this bloody mess up!

The grumpy old witch did instead… and no… that’s not what we call my Mum.



Had any kitchen wins lately?

Don’t you just loooove my food photography skills?

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  1. Majella Laws says

    As one non-cook to another I am laughing hysterically. (Though the quiche looks pretty alright to me)! xo

  2. says

    I call this “Impossible Pie” because it is one bowl wonderful and the crust just magically appears! I think you did an ace job, I am totally expecting to see you on Masterchef next year, or at least a new series on the blog, “Cooking With Sandra.” Perhaps you should start your own You Tube channel? Carry on cooking x

    • Sandra says

      Impossible Pie is right – it’s bloody impossible for me to cook it to somewhere near even average perfection! 🙂

  3. says

    I’ve had to put many a quiche and frittata back in the oven because the middle wasn’t done. Timing these egg based things is not one of my fortes. I do like to cook, but I find the deciding what to have day after day after day the bane of my life.

    • Sandra says

      Ugh! I bloody hate having to think about what to cook just as much, if not more, than the cooking of it – if that’s possible – yep, I think it is.

    • Sandra says

      If I can manage a semi-respectable quiche (sometimes) any one can Paula! Be sure to send me the photographic evidence so I can marvel at your new found brilliance! 😉

    • Sandra says

      I just checked out the Mexican Chicken and Rice recipe Shari. Soooo easy! Bit spicy for me but the husband and big kids would love it. I’ll have to give it a crack. 🙂

  4. Cat@lifethroughthehaze says

    I love cooking and I cook all the time but let me tell you even with all of that I still have some absolute disasters in the kitchen!!

  5. says

    I love a good quiche and ours has half tomatoes too, I use the cherry ones and cornflour so it’s gluten free.
    And by the way, the cleaning fairies never come to my place either, or if they do, they do a half done job.

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