“Can we pretend we are lost?” Asked the little one.
“Sure, why not!” I said. Looking around at the thick bush I thought that wouldn’t be too far from the truth if we strayed from the steep path.
“When do we have to go home?” The bigger one asked expectantly.
“Whenever you… before it gets too dark” I corrected myself mid-sentence. When you decide to go exploring on a whim in very inappropriate clothing and footwear mid-afternoon on a very cold Sunday, replying ‘whenever you like’ to a child’s question of when you have to leave is not a good idea… come to think of it that reply is never a good idea. New mum’s take note.
It would have been very easy for me to stay in bed and have a doona day. Many people close to me are doing it tough… really tough. Grief and loss is accumulative. Impending grief and loss is excruciatingly torturous. Chronic illness is a relentless beast. Treatment for chronic illness is all-consuming. Without delving into specific detail this is why my energy has been channelled away from my little internet home of late. That’s okay you know. Sometimes you just need to make space for where you need and want to be. It’s never a ‘this is how it’s going to be forever door’ that you walk through but rather a revolving gentle entry and exit.
Shifting sands people, shifting sands.
I’ll always get out of my own way to spend time with these darling cherubs. My little relatives growing up way too fast. Their smiles make me smile and their laughter lights up the valleys of shadow in my soul. Never underestimate the reciprocal value of sharing time.
So off I went, leaving the kitchen in a somewhat ‘state of discovery’ and the doona lying in wait for a future day. Walking out the door I wondered how on earth my family would sift through and make sense of all the unfinished sorting projects I had on the go if anything were to happen to me while I was out.
I decided the only thing I could say to them, if I could, was this… “Sorry about the mess I’ve left behind but I was out living life… lost in imagination and creating memories beneath the canopy of a tree covered wonderland.”
ps. The bigger cherub captured a rare sighting of the very camera-shy and lens illusive Sandra Kelly What Lies Within! She may have been freezing her t**s off at the time. She may also have been wearing her Mother’s knitted hat. Well spotted bigger cherub, well spotted. Scroll down for photographic evidence as opposed to photogenic proof.