Good golly Miss Molly, for those of you who know me well you had better sit down right NOW for you will not believe what you are about to see.
You will be all like “Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sandra?” You know, with that concerned quizzical sideways look where you are peering out of one squinty eye that also says “Don’t you dare mess with me now”.
You look scary!
Before you go phoning Doug all alarmed to ask if I am also dancing around with my headscarf holding my hair rollers firm while rocking a flowery apron and sporting high heels with bright red lipstick on singing “These are a few of my favourite things” after you see this, I can assure you that I am indeed of sound mind and body (cough) and have all my faculties in check!
And I know this for sure because I remembered to take my sanity saving pill this morning, so there!
So without further ado, sit down, buckle up and reach for the oxygen mask people because I give you…
TAH-DAH! Yes, it’s a pic of food I MADE in my very own kitchen… from a recipe!!!
Hah! Didn’t see that coming did you???!
Look at me Mum! I’m a food blogger!
As it is a globally known fact that I am not known for my culinary delights or for spending anytime in the kitchen other than to take Panadol and make a nice hot cup of tea before an afternoon nap, I’ll give those of you who ignored my previous instructions time to pick yourselves up off the floor and regain consciousness before I continue on with this enthralling piece of world breaking out of character news.
If I knew how, I would insert an audio thingy here that would play you some nice soothing elevator music while you recover your composure… but I don’t know how… so just imagine some Burt Bacharach clarinet like soothing tones while you mop your clammy brow, loosen your collar and fan your extremely pale face and we shall resume momentarily. I’ll wait…
Feeling better? Goodio!
Look at that photographic styling. Notice how I have placed the subject matter close to the sill of the window for maximum natural light and the addition of the carefully placed floral arrangement for eye pleasing aesthetics and balance? That’s a bit of natural flair happening right there I reckon.
Let’s look at it one more time, with feeling…
So what on earth has led me to this abnormal behaviour and to splash it all over the interwebs?
Well it is Cookie Monsters fault. “Yes… really” I say to your one raised eyebrow!
Back in July last year I wrote a post asking what the hell are you supposed to do when living in the present moment really sucks.
I introduced the next pic you are about to see by saying…
“Then, just when I thought this would always be an exasperating soul searching quest for the illusive enlightening light bulb moment relieving my long suffering pondering (breath), along comes a pretty darn good explanation on my facebook feed. Give it up for Cookie Monster…”
You can read the original post here if you please.
You see I have had many an unpleasant moment over the last few weeks wrestling with the black dog that lurks around this house (aka depression) and my other unwelcomed foe Stripe (my chronic fatigue) so eating some cookies have sounded like a really bloody good idea!
Except I can’t eat cookies… I am allergic to everything nice to eat… everything nice to eat contains milk\eggs\butter\chocolate… I’m allergic to all… (Violins playing here in my honour would be appropriate)… I may be wrestling with the dog but I am not suicidal so I do not wish to eat cookies despite the many moments being of a sucky nature.
My food loving cousin introduced me to the incredible Bianca Slade and her website Whole food simply.
Bianca is one clever little beautiful cookie.
Luckily for me I am not allergic to cashews, dessicated coconut, honey or natural peppermint essence because that’s all you need to make these divine heavenly babies. You don’t have to bake them either… straight in the fridge. Bonus for me and the long suffering smoke alarm!
I put mine into mini silicone muffin trays like this one for ease of removal.
Look at me being all foody know it all and creative. (Very clear photo) There were cashew thingies in there; can you see the tiny morsels of crumbs? I ate the photographic subjects. Sorry. Not really.
Go check out Bianca’s site here straight after you have finished reading this dribble okay! Her foody pictures are nearly as good as mine! Not true… they’re everything mine are not.
If you can’t be fagged making your own and you live in the Sale (Victoria) area get yourself down to my cousins Triple F Café in Raymond Street Sale because she CAN be fagged making lots of this simply good nutritious food for us allergic little cookie monsters to have multiple mouth orgasms over.
Well there you go people. No need to call out the National Guard or have me carted off in a white jacket. Things are all good here. Especially after smashing back two of those cashew minty things.
And the other reason for splashing this over the interwebs, apart from it being Cookie Monsters fault with his zen like wisdom? I like to lead by example when I say “It’s okay to talk about not being okay”.
I’m bored talking about food now… don’t think I’ll make a foodie blogger. Cooking is boring.
I hate cooking.
That is all.
PS. I hope no one was hurt or food blogger offended during the reading of this post and its shock factor content of me being in the kitchen. I sincerely apologise if this was so. Just don’t ask me to bake you a plate of cookies to make up for it… it will never happen in your life time.
Okay, okay. Stop screaming at me for the recipe… sheesh… here it is with full credit bouncing back to the ingenious Bianca Slade.
1 cup raw cashews
1 cup desiccated coconut
½ teaspoon natural peppermint extract
3 tablespoons of honey
Blend the cashews and coconut until you have a smooth, thick paste. Add the honey, quickly combine. Add the peppermint extract, quickly combine. Press the mixture into a small container lined with baking paper overhanging the sides. Place in the fridge to set. Cut into squares.
PPS. I don’t have a Thermomix but my Vitamix does the job okay. If you can’t have honey Bianca suggests you substitute it for rice malt syrup. As previously mentioned I find it easier to use a mini silicone muffin tray. I’ve have also used almonds in place of cashews and it’s just as delicious. Oh god, just listen to me.
That’s it… I’m getting twitchy. Time to get outta the kitchen.
Did you fall off your chair when you realised this was a foody post by mwah?
What’s your comfort food for when the moment sucks?
Disclaimer: I was not paid by anyone to write this post. All opinions are my own. Seriously, who in their right mind would pay me to blog about cooking and food? That would be funny.
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
You are so cute and a wee bit funny – LOVE the mini violins, seriously I’d be stuffed if I was allergic to everything, and probably divorced because I’d be a shit to live with. GO YOU! x
Awww thanks Em! Been feeling a bit flat so I thought poking fun at myself might help… it did! Thanks for stopping by my friend. Xx 🙂
Where’s my sample??
Today Minty Chew Bombs…Tomorrow???
Ha, sorry, I ate them all. Tomorrow??? Sleep… being a food blogger is all kinds of exhausting 😉
Sandra, a gorgeous post and you really made me chuckle! Loved your food styling – you will be playing #7vignettes on Instagram in no time (I highly recommend for the creative soul). I’m sorry life has been glum – wishing you a speedy recovery. So great your cooking and I might just have to try your recipe! x
Sandra Kelly says
You’re taste buds shall reward you Rachael! Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Kelly Exeter says
Lol I too ALWAYS instagram and share with wonder anything amazingly culinary I do in the kitchen. And Bianca’s stuff is the best. Always very simple and easy. She is a beautiful storyteller too
I gosh, how remiss of me not to mention her storytelling brilliance. Another great blog I’m privileged to have found. Thanks for stopping by Kelly 🙂 Xx
Congrats on your cooking feat (well preparing, since they didn’t actually go in the oven). You gave me a laugh and I will check out more cashew thingies on Bianca’s blog.
Pleased to have given you a smile Kathy! You will lose yourself in Bianca’s blog. Better go in with already baked goodies to munch and a big cup of tea to see you through. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
You made me laugh – I think you have a definite future in food styling 🙂
Oh I’m a budding foodie alright hee hee! Thanks for stopping by Robyna 🙂 Xx
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
Don’t know about Cookie Monster but you are a funny bunny! I would be depressed if I couldn’t eat the things that you can’t but you know where there’s a will, there’s a way, or at least Bianca Slade! I love your pretty plates and using the silicone tray is just genius. I think we’ll make a food blogger out of you yet. With plates that pretty, you totes need to be a food blogger! Just sayin’! Hope your weekend is as sweet as those cookies!
Oh Sammie you are too kind! Maybe the pretty plates could be my secret weapon… the focus being on the plates instead of what I put on the plates. Thanks for stopping by Sammie. Xx 🙂
I love it!!! Thank YOU so much!! It is lovely to part of your space and your kitchen success. I hope you stumble across a few more recipes that you enjoy and get me over here for a good read and a laugh again. Have a great day. Bianca
Hey there Bianca! Mostly anything I do in the kitchen is laughable so no failures in the laugh department where that is concerned. Love your work. Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Hahaha what a great story! Sorry to hear you’ve been struggling a bit this past week but those magical cookies certainly seem to have had the desired effect. You sound so upbeat and candid and I loved reading this. Thanks. You made me smile ?
Cashew Minty things always do it for me Shauna! Glad you had a giggle. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Lucy @ Bake Play Smile says
Oh I love Bianca’s website. You should definitely go into food blogging! Lol it’s always funny setting up a shot – sometimes it works and sometimes it fails!
Sounds just like my cooking Lucy! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx