I woke early. After laying there for some time contemplating my navel I decided to get up and go for a walk. The little voice inside my head protested “What are you doing? We are not morning people?” and then he started hyperventilating as I laced up my shoes.
You see, I feel that change is on the horizon… something is brewing. I needed to my remind myself that changes on the horizon happen to the world every second and the world goes on turning in spite of or maybe even because of it. We rarely allow ourselves to be aware of that.
I didn’t listen to music or a podcast, I just listened to the sounds of the morning. The crunching sound my shoes made on the gravel; the magpies breaking into song; the cars carrying reluctant people off to work.
With each step the glow of security lamps blended into the light of the breaking day and the fresh smell of lawn clippings brought to life with the morning moisture would have me diving into the allergy tablets once I got home. Maybe I should have listened to that little voice in my head? Mornings can indeed be somewhat hazardous!
The horizon was grey, a little like my mood, and the blue of the mountains blended seamlessly with the sky. There was a slight chill in the air tickling my nose and even though I was feeling quite perplexed I also felt so much more grounded and pleased to be alive than I did lying in my warm cosy bed dissecting circumstances that I may have no control over.
Once home I poured myself a hot cup of tea in my favourite tall mug and let the warmth of its contents warm my cold hands and bones while I gazed out the window… the view of the horizon had changed once again… like an invisible paint brush had swept across gracefully updating the scene.
Change can happen in the blink of an eye with effortless ease or it can happen in a violent burst. Either way, the world keeps turning.
This was me Monday week ago. The last ten days have been a little hectic and uncertain to say the least. I surprised myself! I can do change. I can do hectic. I can even do uncertain. But I don’t like the feeling of it one bit. Those ‘feelings’ weighed me down and slowed my thought process and hindered the efficiency of my actions. I was continually talking myself through but I managed. Once upon a time a would have done it all on my ear! Not so much these days.
Some changes were on the horizon. Changes with my husband’s health that involved an unexpected trip to the ‘Big Smoke’ and changes with on-going health management. Wish I could say I feel the changes are over for now… but I think that would place me securely in a place of denial. A place I wish not to operate from.
The passage above that I penned 10 days ago was to be the beginning of me making time to write every morning. I wasn’t going to publish here every day (hopefully once a week) but I like writing and wanted to make a conscious effort to flex and develop that writing muscle through frequent exercise. Today is the first day I’ve been able to free up head space since.
So in true stubborn style I refuse to give up. I’ll keep at it when I can, in-between and in spite of constant changes on the horizon and possibly even because of them! A dear friend sent me this beautiful analogy recently and it spoke to me. I really do like playing with the colours of words…
Any change on the horizon happening for you?
Do you like playing with the colour of words too?