“My get up and go for life in general is tough at the moment but I’m pushing through. Think I need to go on one of those ‘airy fairy’ retreats somewhere near the seaside where a bunch of healers whack you with dead fish while chanting and dancing around the massage table wailing some sort of woo woo song all high on supposed sage smoke that smells rather suspiciously like dope!”
The above was my reply to a friend who emailed me early in the week offering me encouragement and congratulations on returning to giving hot stone massages twice a week after almost two years on from the end of my cancer treatment. She knows how tough physically and mentally this has been for me to do. I’m content to say that it is now becoming quite do-able.
I found I was missing connecting with people on this healing and therapeutic level and so I decided it was time to push on and reconnect with a part of myself that felt neglected and absent. I really missed seeing people walk out the door in such a different frame of mind as to when they walked in for a treatment; aching muscles soothed and racing minds at rest. I’d forgotten just how much I get from giving, which is almost as much as people get from receiving.
Yes, it takes a bit out of me but it also calms me. I don’t want people to stop coming because they may read this and think it’s too much for me. It’s not; because I am pacing myself; I’m being sensible and only offering two appointments a week until my body adjusts again.
You would actually be helping me by coming along and allowing me to bliss you out until your eyes glaze over. If you have experienced one of my hot stone massages before have you ever noticed how glazed my eyes are after giving you a treatment? And no, it’s got nothing to do with anything questionable of the aromatic kind that may be filling your senses as you rejuvenate while soaking up the peaceful atmosphere and ambience! The giving of the treatment is actually quite tranquil for me too.
This is not supposed to sound like an advertisement, but hell, it’s not a bad backhanded unintentional attempt hey? This is about me appreciating how far I have come. This time last year returning to the helping field was not even on the horizon.
Earlier this year I wrote the following passage in a post (that you can read here)…
“I feel I have crossed another footbridge on my path of recovery. I’m starting to wonder how I’d like my future to look. I’m okay for now with just penciling in those pictures of my future into the landscape from where I sit beside the recently crossed footbridge… for I know the time is coming when I’ll splash them with colour and the vibrancy of their life shall continue to light my way and draw me forward.”
Late last year I had no idea how I wanted my future to look and now, not only have I pencilled in a sketch of my future, I’ve also begun adding small amounts of colour by way of thoughtful action. This is huge for me and I write to celebrate that splash of colour that is indeed helping to light my way and draw me a little further forward on my path.
I’m still a work in progress; there is no denying that. I still have tough days. However when I look back to this time last year I have certainly crossed a few more footbridges and I’m continuing to wind my way up that mountain of creating a new normal.
As for wanting to run away to a seaside retreat like I did at the beginning of this week? I know it won’t be the last time my thoughts wander off down that trail. And please be assured I do not resort to whacking you with dead fish during one of my treatments… there may, however, be the occasional muffled cry of an inaudible obscenity as a result of said very capable therapist dropping the odd hot rock on her big toe but she disguises it well… ah, yeah, that may have actually happened.
So tell me – have you felt like celebrating any personal milestones lately?
What’s your favourite massage treatment?
Ever been whacked with a dead fish maybe?