I thought I’d be crying my eyes out when this day came. I felt sad but I also felt a wave of strong resolute that this was the only and the right way forward.
Travelling home from the solicitors office we passed by the family farm and home that we’d sold eighteen years earlier. The decision to sell the land that had been in the family for generations, settled by my husband’s ancestors, was an excruciating painful time in our lives. The day we left that property for good was beyond heart wrenching.
Sometimes life leaves you no choice but to make hard, painful decisions. However, once you’ve chosen the path to follow, amazingly you find yourself walking hand in hand with your grief instead of it being a crippling weight preventing you from taking steps in any direction. Grief doesn’t go away, it just changes position.
We had a beautiful purposely built home to move into capturing uninterrupted views of the foothills and mountains leading onwards to the Great Dividing Range. It certainly softened the blow for as our hopes and dreams of creating a lovely home and garden were being realised just as many hopes and dreams of successful farming life and raising future generations on the family farm were being completely shattered.
Turning into the driveway of our now established garden with its beautiful mature trees I actually smiled at the sight before me. We had managed to evolve through the unspeakable loss of a much loved farming life and an unfolding farming future ripped from our grasp by the cards of poor health; a life left so far, far behind us now but certainly far from forgotten.
Almost two decades ago we thought we’d never get over leaving the family farm but we have succeeded in making a new different life and new beautiful memories to hold just as dear in our hearts. I’m confident we can do it a second time as we prepare to set sail in a few months’ time and change course all over again.
When you sign a contract of sale you don’t sign away the memories or the purpose that beloved home gifted you. Family health circumstances have become the rudder for our change of direction and focus yet again. We’re choosing not to sail away from our precious abode and community under the heaviness of self-imposed grey skies; instead we are plotting our course guided by the filtered sunrays streaming down through the clouds with the sparkling silver linings.
Until next time… stay safe now.
Footnote: Many long conversations led to our decision to sell up, down size and move closer to health services and town conveniences. We’re choosing to dream, manifest and create another life chapter to grow into. If we haven’t told you personally please forgive us, for the last six months have been quite intense and all consuming. Doug has not been well but is coming out the other side now. In case you’re wondering, don’t worry, I’m still cancer free but have a new painful ailment named Mr Osteo Arthur-itis (osteo arthritis) that flares and pinches a nerve in my neck and tendon in my shoulder. When this happens I’m out of action until it settles again. I can’t lift Doug, I can’t drive, I can barely prepare meals, but I can complain (not a lot, just a little, lol). I’m having an okay patch at the moment. I’ll share more about the ins and outs of what has led us down this path and what we hope our future will look like in posts to come. Thanks for reading and stopping by.