If my fatigue could take form I imagine it would look like the sinister character ‘Stripe’ from the movie ‘Gremlins’, clinging on to me with fierce determination echoing an earpeircing evil laugh as his head and body arch at the sheer evil delight of rendering me useless yet again.
I’ll drench the little bugger in some beautiful spring sunshine today… should take him a while to re-group and crawl out from under a rock somewhere to latch on again… sounds good in theory.
Anyway, because my fatigue, here after known as Stripe, prevents me from stringing words together creatively or orally (some people around here think that’s quite a welcome rest for their ears) today I am turning over this space to my friend and colleague Majella.
Majella has always been an integral part of ‘Team Sandra’ and I can’t imagine my life without her support and insightful wisdom. I am so blessed to have amazing genuine thoughtful people in my corner such as her.
The following post featured on her wonderful blog The Velvet Soapbox and was inspired by her concern for me and our recent conversations. Thanks for being in my life Majella.
Without further ado, give it up for Majella over at The Velvet Soapbox…
This is a post I wrote a couple of years ago which sits on another blog I write relating to careers and life at work. Conversations over the past couple of days with my friend Sandra who is doing her darndest to learn to dance in the rain again following treatment for breast cancer, has prompted me to post Reflections on Grief and Loss here as well. (You can follow Sandra’s story at http://www.sandrakelly.me).
Suffering, expectations (from self and others), finding a new norm and trying to deal with a profound sense of grief and loss are daily challenges many face. This post talks about one approach to facing grief and loss. Hopefully, it may help someone, at least with some small aspect of their experience.
My original post:
I watched a program on TV recently that examined the subject of grief and how people coped when someone they love died. It was an interesting program, in that it highlighted the different ways in which people approached living with that loss, but for me, one thing was missing.
It made no reference to the fact that grief does not only apply to the physical loss of a person, it also applies to the loss of anything we cherish or hold dear, all those people or things we are attached to.
As we go through life we may experience a whole range of increasingly challenging losses including the death of our parents, siblings or friends, job redundancies, loss of possessions to family violence, damage to property and possessions through fire or flood; ill health or ageing bodies change quality of life, spousal affairs damage or destroy relationship trust; the list goes on……..
As human beings, the experience of loss can occur quite early in life; for instance, a child losing a beloved pet. While rituals play a part in expressing grief and processing the loss, in no way do they cancel out the sadness felt, sometimes for an extended period of time. If you reflect on your life journey to date, you will find it peppered with losses, large and small and yet it is something we don’t talk about much in our western society.
In an east meets west approach to grief, where and when possible, we can use mindfulness to sit and be fully present with our sadness and allow it to just be. In doing so, the grief is not denied, suppressed or pushed away, but experienced fully. In meeting the loss in this way, we can over time effectively resolve it. For some people, if the loss is overwhelming, then seeking the assistance of a practitioner may help them through the process.
Whatever our age or station in life, at some point in our life journey, grief and loss will be part of our human experience. No one person is exempt. Queen Elizabeth II, on the death of her mother stated; “grief is the price we pay for love” – a beautifully poignant expression to reflect upon.
Hope you are enjoying your Sunday with someone you love!