Well, it’s been a little while between drinks but… “I’m back” (said in my best sing songy sinister voice with appropriate facial smirk).
My expected four day stay in hospital down in the big smoke turned into an eight day stay in hospital thanks to a pesky little air bubble that meant my drainage tube needed to stay in until it resolved.
I was devastated to say the least.
I’m a secret control freak. I do not cope well when things are out of my control and I’m not ashamed to admit it… I’m a continual work in progress people.
And if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about you can peddle fast up to speed by reading this and this and then you’ll be up with the goss.
Or I could just tell you that I needed a lung resection for a suspect nodule in my lung and already having a previous breast cancer diagnosis it was decided that little bugger had to come out. That means I’ve had a piece of my lung removed… yes… ouch!
And here’s the best bit… the bit I lost sight of for just a second when I was in pain and shattered that the drainage tube had to stay in and I was oooooh so homesick…
The best bit… that little nodule in my lung that had us all in a spin WAS NOT CANCEROUS!
Oh yeah, cue the dance music!
I see my lovely surgeon again this Thursday and expect I’ll have more info on what that little bastard of a thing was, but for now we are assuming it was just an infected granuloma thingy until the cultures tell us otherwise.
I don’t care really… it’s gone… it’s not inside me anymore and it’s not cancer and can’t turn cancerous… I don’t need cancer treatment again… I don’t have to drag my family and friends through that horrid ride again… l can’t tell you how relieved I am, for all of us.
And another best bit is I only needed a wedge taken out of my middle lobe of the lung instead of losing the whole middle lobe of my right lung… that was also a very nice thing to wake up from surgery and find out.
BIG shout out to all at the Epworth Eastern Hospital Box Hill Victoria. Honestly, you are all gems. I was looked after with such care and compassion during a very vulnerable and scary time for me and a very long way from home.
Unfortunately old demons came back to haunt me and I suffered terribly from triggered flash backs from my cancer ride. You know how the ‘three days blues” is a thing? Like when you have baby and on about the third day after you are all like teary and blue and yeah… that thing?
Well, I had the three day blues for about the whole eight days (with a side serve of anxiety) and everybody, I mean EVERYBODY was just so attentive and supportive.
I was so bloody well looked after.
For the moment I still can’t drive and I’m managing the basics here at home. We were so fortunate to have Doug’s sister and her friend stay with him while I was in hospital and then she was able to stay on for a week afterwards until I found my feet… only she spoilt Doug with much culinary delight variability… a standard he has come crashing down from since she returned home.
What can I say? Cooking and me? Not a match made in heaven.
Cooking and meal preparation and me when I’m feeling blah? Well, blah about sums up the servings.
Seriously H, an eleventy billion trillion thank you’s. Where would we have been without you two.
Once again we find ourselves relying on the generosity of treasured family and friends during this time. When you live 20 minutes from the nearest town and grocery stores and doctors and so on and you can’t drive, your independence is extremely compromised.
Doug, Mum and I can’t thank you all enough for your willing and continued support.
(My mate Tracey makes a mean ‘good shit soup’ and my mate Jo makes a ‘Shepards Pie’ to die for… I have a stock pile in my freezer… no, I’m not sharing.)
And my beautiful son who held my hand in recovery, fed me ice, listened to me moan, drove 40 minutes each way from his home in Melbourne traffic to sit by my bedside… there are no words… my tears speak the volumes you deserve to hear.
To my niece/daughter who would send me beautiful messages of concern and support and who shared exuberant happiness at my cancer free outcome to all with her posts… I am deeply, deeply touched.
My online friends, my family and friends? I am one privileged girl to have you all in my life.
I remember back to quite a few weeks ago, when I was waiting outside the big smoke hospital for my son to arrive and join me for one of the many appointments prior to surgery… I was watching the people and cars come and go from the hospital entrance wondering what their stories were… every one of them would have had an individual personal story… I wondered what my story would be the day my son pulled up in his car at the hospital entrance to drive me the three hours home from the unknown experience about to unfold.
For me my story ended well from this chapter… but really, there are many stories inside this one story and I’ll share those as I recover.
I feel grateful, blessed, relieved and oh so, so fortunate and even during the trying times since I’ve returned home, when my face may look a little glum or I’ve been feeling sore and sorry for myself, not once have I or will I forget just how bloody lucky I am.
Till next time, stay safe now.
*Thank you so much to my online bud Emily over at Have a laugh on me for sending me the beautiful sentiment I have used as the pic for this post. Em sent the image ‘Be brave, Be Strong, Be Steadfast’ along with a beautiful email and in it she said “You’ve got this” and that’s exactly what I said to myself in the mirror after changing into my hospital party gown before heading off to be prepped for surgery… “You’ve Got This”… so I said it a few more times as I looked myself in the eye, wiped my tears, took a deep breath, open the cubicle door and… then I realised I really didn’t ‘have this’ all on my own… we are never truly alone… and on the days that I didn’t ‘have it’ someone had me Xx
Sandra, this is WONDERFUL news, and such a fantastic time of year to be gifted with it. It must come as such a relief, and now you can look forward to celebrating Christmas and New Year without that awful spectre looming over you x
Sandra Kelly says
Thank you so much Hugzy! I feel so grateful it’s almost overwhelming… in a nice humbling sort of way. Yes, Christmas and my gift of health will be cherished. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Em @ Have A Laugh says
My goodness I have tears in my eyes imagining how scary it must have been for you, especially getting in that gown (which I recently did and it’s a very vulnerable place to be). I’m extremely ecstatic that it’s not C and that you have been been well looked after. Onwards and upwards my lovely – love and light always x
Sandra Kelly says
Once you slip into that party gown you know shit is real and it’s about to go down! Like it or not. Thanks for your love Em. It means lots. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Such good news xxx
THE best news Ellen! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Ray Reid says
Hi Sandra I don’t know who you are or how you found me, I’m just so grateful that whatever is was you had is all OK. I lost my wife to cancer 6 months ago after 46 years of marriage and I would not wish it on anyone. I do enjoy your little sessions and wish you all the very best for the future.
Ray, thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment on my little internet world. I’m sorry for your loss. Cancer is a bastard… no glossing it over is there! 46 years of togetherness is a whole lot of love and laughs to wrap yourself in when the days and nights are tough. Much love and light to you. 🙂 Xx
Just so, so, so good! Rest well, heal and launch into 2016 with a bang!
(And your writing just keeps getting better and betterer and betterer)…
Oh Majella, you are gorgeous! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
I am so happy to hear this. I think cancer is a bit like a shadow, it goes everywhere with you after a diagnosis don’t you think? High five to everyone on Team Kelly for lending a hand, sharing a meal and giving hugs where necessary. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Big hugs for you xx
You nailed it Sam! It’s like a shadow alright… somedays more dark, heavy and noticeable than others. And yes, Team Kelly have been absolutely amazing. Thanks for stopping by friend 🙂 Xx
Jody at Six Little Hearts says
Congratulations for pulling through what must have been a horrid time. All bright and sparkly roads ahead now.
I’m looking forward to a little bright and sparkly! Thanks for stopping by Jody 🙂 Xx
Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
Wonderful news Sandra! My mother had a similar experience some years back when they suspected she had a tumour in her kidney and had to excise it. Turns out it was just fatty tissue and not a tumour at all. She was annoyed she had to undergo serious surgery “for nothing” (her words) but we were all so pleased it wasn’t cancer. So pleased you came out of the experience well (even if you had issues with the drainage tube) x
Thank you so much Kirsty! I felt the same way as your Mum for about 24 hours on about day 4 after surgery… I had the blues real bad. But then I realised I wouldn’t have known it wasn’t cancer (again) for sure unless I had taken the wonderful advice of my surgeon and had it removed. I wish I didn’t have to go through it at all but I’m so grateful I don’t have to undergo any further treatment what so ever. Onwards I go… very slowly at the mo… but onwards none the less. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Karin @ Calm to Conniption says
Such brilliant news Sandra! It is a very scary position to be in. I am so glad you don’t have to go through anything more. Breath out.
Rebuild and recover is top of my to do list Karin. Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂 Xx
I am so glad you have good news.
Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back in touch.
I wish you the most fabulous christmas ever.
And heaps of wonderful memories.
So happy for you lovely.
One trillion hugs xxx
Lisa Conn says
Hi Sailor Sandra,
I’ve just caught myself up on your recent posts, and despite already knowing the outcome (thank you for your texts keeping me in the loop) I was nonetheless moved to tears reading these posts, and went through all the emotions, feeling up and down like a bottle bobbing ibn the sea..
Tears for you,
tears for Doug,
tears for your kids ,
tears for all whom love you,
and you know what honestly tears for me too.
I can but only wish my story had the same wonderfully happy ending as yours, but believe me I’m bloody in there and giving it my best shot and take so much heart from your amazing spirit and resilience.
I’m so pleased this was the final result after some turbulence and rough waters may you get only smooth sailing in now and need not worry about organising the life jackets (aka support at home) anymore.
Love you beautiful lady, and when I think of you my resolve is strengthened and I’m grateful for any reprieve of smooth sailing, in between my often quite rough times, and thank you for being one of the valuable life jacket on my boat.
I’m just catching up , how scary for you to have to go through this experience. Overjoyed you had a happy ending.
Thanks Trish! It was quite the ride. Thanks for stoppin by. 🙂 Xx
Edie De la Hoyde says
Oh Sandra you are clearly so loved. Hurrah for the granularly thing being out and I’m sure you’ve come a long way since then. Phew! ❤️❤️❤️Xx
I’m so fortunate to have so many beautiful people in my life Edie. Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂 Xx