You-hoo! Oh Yooooo-hoo! Oh Hello! I’m back waving madly at you, just like I said I would be.
I had a much longer break from writing than I originally anticipated but it feels good to be back.
So what have I been up to? Nothing exciting to report really – I know boring. I’ve been reading lots of lovely words from other bloggers that I’ll share in links in another post. Dang, there are some inspirational beautiful writers out there.
I can’t believe how quickly the last 7 weeks have gone by. For the most part of those 7 weeks I think I could quite honestly say each day has been pretty much full to the brim with the can’t be bothered’s. I’m hoping that’s behind me now.
My husband Doug may have caught the virus though. I think it’s best if you hear how the onset presented itself from the man himself. So here you go my lovely friends. Meet Doug…
G’day I’m Doug! Well, it’s not really me. (Really?) I’m not usually this pale… or that clean… and my nose is a deeper shade of pink. I like to rumble around outside in my outdoor wheelchair, known as the paddock bomb, painting things green and screwing extra handles on other handles of things to accommodate my arthritic hands… and then I paint them green too. This is my Sund’y go to meetings wheelchair… the inside one.
I’m also known around these parts as ‘The battery operated garden gnome’. I’m sure Sandra will share how that precious title was bestowed upon me all in good time… because she’s a bitch like that.
I hate having my photo taken because I’m rarely clean and usually covered in green paint so I asked my stunt double Smokey Bear to stand in for me… we might have been Smokey and the Bandit in another life… or maybe that was a dream I had. Whatever, we are cool dudes and can squeal these wheels… that’s all you need to remember. For the sake of this exercise, and so Smokey doesn’t crack the shits and pee off because you’ve seen through his disguise, just pretend it’s really me Doug in the photo’s. Okay?
Sandra wanted a re-enactment in pictures of how the can’t be bothered virus hit me the other morning and Smokey was only to keen to assume the position… he likes the spotlight and attention… unlike me.
So there I was early one morning, about 11am, sitting at the table waiting for my breaky when I decided it was a bit dull for my morning eyes to read the paper. More light was needed. Sandra spied me from the kitchen doing this…
I started edging my way over to the light switch ever so slowly…
The Wheelchair was chugging making a sluggish whirring noise, wheels barely moving…
I was inching along. Think slower than first gear four-wheel drive mode on a 95 degree steep incline with loose stones and tumbling rocks and screaming women and children slow. Not my normal high 5th gear bandit speed. So Sandra came closer for a listen to the strange labouring noise my chariot was making and to see if I was alright…
I was almost to the light switch completely out of breath and breaking out in a sweat when she finally asked,
“What’s up with the wheelchair and what are you doing?”
To which I replied,
“Nothing wrong with the wheelchair, I’m heading to the light switch but I’ve got a real bad attack of the can’t be bothered’s!”
Then she lost it and nearly peed herself laughing while calling me a funny bugga… which was much better than the clip under the ear I normally get from apparently being such a bloody idiot.
I was caught on camera much later in the day also in can’t be bothered mode making good use of one of my other lay awake at night designed inventions… a little table for my wheelchair. Until next time…
Do you have the can’t be bothered’s?
Do you think Smokey Bear has a stunt double career ahead of him?