Also in this series
I don’t really know where to start! There doesn’t seem to be a beginning or an end; just a place of messy in-between. I was going to lead in with “Hello, my name is Sandra Kelly and I used to write here at Sandra Kelly – What lies within. Where did I go? What have I been doing? What can I tell you about it?”
Trouble was I didn’t know the answers to my own questions; or maybe I wasn’t comfortable owning them.
If I wrote under a pen name instead, I may have shared the last six months of my life with you before now. The reasons behind this are simple – I don’t wish to cause my family and friends any more distress than they have already experienced as a result of me telling my story and discussing thoughts and feelings they may not be totally aware of.
The word protection springs to mind – for them and maybe a little for me as well. They may wonder why I would want to share these experiences at all. I don’t wish to have anyone feel sad or sorry for me. I only wish to share my thoughts and experiences so others in similar positions may feel not so alone.
So why do I seem okay now sharing these experiences with you?
Am I not concerned that it may be too raw and confronting for you too?
Well, yes I am concerned. However I believe very strongly in these wise words from Angie at The Little Mumma blog and I can think of no better. Angie left this comment on a post of mine which often echoes around my mind:
I have written about the most personal parts of my little human self and I keep waiting to feel that awful clench of regret in my stomach – but it never comes.
The amazing thing about telling your truth is that it opens up a space for others to tell theirs. Trust your blogging community to have your back.
You’ll be amazed at the way the things that scare us most to admit are the things that bind us most meaningfully to others.
Be fearless! Keep hitting publish!
The Little Mumma
I trust that you’ll be true to yourself. You may read on? You may not? I totally respect your choice.
Brene Brown teaches us that silence feeds our fear of feeling worthy to engage in life and drives us deep down into shame and dis-connection. I want to add strength to the woven fabric of voice that offers soft places to fall for those in need of strength and connection through honest vulnerable conversation that breaks through the silence.
We all need to be bound meaningfully to others – the only way to engage in this is by willingly (and yes anxiously) uncovering our vulnerabilities, our truths and our capacity for compassion; and in turn by listening with our open empathetic hearts, we create safe spaces for our shared truths to be welcomed, seen and heard.
Every Sunday for the following four weeks I will publish a post in this series Soft Places and Honest Spaces. You’ll discover the answers to the questions of Where did I go? What have I been doing? What can I tell you about it? Well… at least the answers of any depth I have to share.
Hopefully my truths will open up a safe space for you to tell your truths… without regret.
Please feel free to leave comments at the end of each post. I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you prefer don’t hesitate to send me an email via my contact page. I’ll reply to your comments and emails as soon as I can. I appreciate you and you are important to me. If you think someone you know may benefit from these posts by all means please share them.
Please be mindful that I am not a qualified expert giving advice, I just have life experience I’m willing to share and you are most welcome to embrace what may resonate with you. If you feel you are struggling in anyway with your health or life in general I urge you to contact a health professional you feel comfortable with.
To be honest, I am fearful that I will be judged for publishing my thoughts. This is not a sympathy plea or a pity ploy. This is me owning and telling my story.
I believe connection brings purpose and meaning to our lives (yes, another Brene Brown quote) and connecting with the meaningful stories of others is really the only way to be less afraid and more compassionate to ourselves concerning our own fearful narratives.
So with my fear sitting beside me, looking very pale and concerned, I am going to write on. You are invited to join us… me and my fear. There’s plenty more room at my kitchen table where this space is created… my internet home, like my personal home, is a soft place to fall… and an honest space for all.
See you here next Sunday morning, same time, same channel, with fluffy slippers, bed hair and coffee in hand (or if you prefer at Sunday Sippers with bubbles) where I’ll set the scene of my unfolding story.
Stay safe, Sandra x