Also in this series
Soft Places and Honest Spaces – Part 1.
Soft Places and Honest Spaces – Part 2.
Soft Places and Honest Spaces – Part 3.
Soft Places and Honest Spaces – Part 4.
Soft Places and Honest Spaces – Conclusion.
I don’t really know where to start! There doesn’t seem to be a beginning or an end; just a place of messy in-between. I was going to lead in with “Hello, my name is Sandra Kelly and I used to write here at Sandra Kelly – What lies within. Where did I go? What have I been doing? What can I tell you about it?”
Trouble was I didn’t know the answers to my own questions; or maybe I wasn’t comfortable owning them.
If I wrote under a pen name instead, I may have shared the last six months of my life with you before now. The reasons behind this are simple – I don’t wish to cause my family and friends any more distress than they have already experienced as a result of me telling my story and discussing thoughts and feelings they may not be totally aware of.
The word protection springs to mind – for them and maybe a little for me as well. They may wonder why I would want to share these experiences at all. I don’t wish to have anyone feel sad or sorry for me. I only wish to share my thoughts and experiences so others in similar positions may feel not so alone.
So why do I seem okay now sharing these experiences with you?
Am I not concerned that it may be too raw and confronting for you too?
Well, yes I am concerned. However I believe very strongly in these wise words from Angie at The Little Mumma blog and I can think of no better. Angie left this comment on a post of mine which often echoes around my mind:
I have written about the most personal parts of my little human self and I keep waiting to feel that awful clench of regret in my stomach – but it never comes.
The amazing thing about telling your truth is that it opens up a space for others to tell theirs. Trust your blogging community to have your back.
You’ll be amazed at the way the things that scare us most to admit are the things that bind us most meaningfully to others.
Be fearless! Keep hitting publish!
The Little Mumma
I trust that you’ll be true to yourself. You may read on? You may not? I totally respect your choice.
Brene Brown teaches us that silence feeds our fear of feeling worthy to engage in life and drives us deep down into shame and dis-connection. I want to add strength to the woven fabric of voice that offers soft places to fall for those in need of strength and connection through honest vulnerable conversation that breaks through the silence.
We all need to be bound meaningfully to others – the only way to engage in this is by willingly (and yes anxiously) uncovering our vulnerabilities, our truths and our capacity for compassion; and in turn by listening with our open empathetic hearts, we create safe spaces for our shared truths to be welcomed, seen and heard.
Every Sunday for the following four weeks I will publish a post in this series Soft Places and Honest Spaces. You’ll discover the answers to the questions of Where did I go? What have I been doing? What can I tell you about it? Well… at least the answers of any depth I have to share.
Hopefully my truths will open up a safe space for you to tell your truths… without regret.
Please feel free to leave comments at the end of each post. I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you prefer don’t hesitate to send me an email via my contact page. I’ll reply to your comments and emails as soon as I can. I appreciate you and you are important to me. If you think someone you know may benefit from these posts by all means please share them.
Please be mindful that I am not a qualified expert giving advice, I just have life experience I’m willing to share and you are most welcome to embrace what may resonate with you. If you feel you are struggling in anyway with your health or life in general I urge you to contact a health professional you feel comfortable with.
To be honest, I am fearful that I will be judged for publishing my thoughts. This is not a sympathy plea or a pity ploy. This is me owning and telling my story.
I believe connection brings purpose and meaning to our lives (yes, another Brene Brown quote) and connecting with the meaningful stories of others is really the only way to be less afraid and more compassionate to ourselves concerning our own fearful narratives.
So with my fear sitting beside me, looking very pale and concerned, I am going to write on. You are invited to join us… me and my fear. There’s plenty more room at my kitchen table where this space is created… my internet home, like my personal home, is a soft place to fall… and an honest space for all.
See you here next Sunday morning, same time, same channel, with fluffy slippers, bed hair and coffee in hand (or if you prefer at Sunday Sippers with bubbles) where I’ll set the scene of my unfolding story.
Stay safe, Sandra x
Quote inspiration for this series comes from Brene Brown and The Power of Positivity fb page. Blog title and quote design by the beautiful Robyna May from The Mummy & The Minx.
Shauna 'Round the Corner says
I look forward to this with great anticipation Sandra. I can completely relate to everything you’ve said. It takes courage to share your truths. I’ll be back here next week in my pink fluffy dressing gown, ugg boots, bed hair and hot cup of tea. Til then. x
Shauna you are lovely! Always so supportive, thank you. See you next Sunday. 🙂 Xx
Majella Laws says
Simply beautiful as I knew it would be … xo
Majella, too kind as always. Thank you for your support. 🙂 Xx
I’ve shared hard truths on my blog too, and felt like I was teetering on the edge of the high diving board as I hit ‘publish’. I know how hard it is. Well done. In sharing I found support, comfort and a salve for my raw wounds. I think sometimes it’s something you need to do, not really choose to do.
I look forward to reading next Sunday. Until then, take care.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me Therese. It is indeed like teetering on the edge of the high diving board as you hit publish… and I truly am afraid of heights ha! Thanks for the encouragement and for stopping by. 🙂 Xx
Sarah @ Sarah's Heart Writes says
I look forward to your stories Sandra. It’s always vulnerable putting ourselves out there, but I have always found it very worth it. As long our intention is with kindness, we can never steer ourselves wrong. Can’t wait for next Sunday. Xx
“As long as our intention is with kindness”, oh I really love that Sarah, thank you. I appreciate you stopping by 🙂 Xx
Lyndall @ Seize The Day Project says
Hi Sandra – I love Brene Brown too, I think she’s brilliant at hitting us right between the eyes with the truth. I understand where you’re coming from with the hesitation about publishing your thoughts and feelings – I feel the same way. I also think it’s really important to protect your loved ones. I hope you enjoy having a soft place to fall. Big hugs to you x
Brene’s findings with her work just makes so much sense to me. I think she is amazing. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your lovely comment. 🙂 Xx
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
It does take courage to tell your truth, but it is yours to tell right here in your space, which is ace. (I’m also a poet and I know it.)
Just like the terminator, I’ll be back. See you next week. I’ll be the one with the mad bed hair x
Ha ha, I’ll watch out for your mad bed hair Sammie. Thanks for stopping by you cutie 🙂 Xx
I’m looking forward to your posts. Oh and I LOVE Brene Brown!
Isn’t she just the most wonderful stoyteller Deb? So engaging. I can’t tell you how many times I have watched her TED talks. Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂 Xx
shannon@ my2morrows says
Looking forward to hearing more Sandra. And yes… your blogging community totally has your back! xx
PS. Total Brene fan girl!!
Honestly Shannon, I don’t know how I lived without her (hee hee). Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂 Xx
Em @ Have A Laugh On Me says
It sure is tough to let it all out, I don’t bare it all, but mainly because I am concerned about my future work prospects. In saying that I also like to keep some things private. xx
If it helps someone else feel not so alone or like they are not going crazy after all then I’m okay to summon the wobbly courage and press publish. I think there are some things that need to remain private too – I could go off on a whole other tangent with this so I think I’ll stop with that one right here, lol. I’m good at branching off. Thanks so much for stopping by Em. 🙂 Xx
I have only recently discovered your writing. Over the last 18mths I have had to face up to lots of things and own my story. It can be very hard to do and very confronting. I allude to parts of it on here but some of it I am just not ready. It is the fear of judgement which is really silly because so far only one person (who doesn’t know my story but thinks they do) has judged me not one other single person not even people I directly hurt in the process have judged me. Perhaps I am scared of myself and the judgement that I place upon myself most of all.
Big hugs and honestly those you judge you for telling your story and owning it aren’t worth caring about. There is lots of support for you here. We all have a story of some sort.
Big hugs and thank you so much xoxo
Thank you for your thoughtful comment Kit. It’s such a fine line to walk when telling our truths between disclosing with good intentions or clamming up due to fear. I haven’t felt that awful clench of regret in my stomach (yet) that Angie has managed to avoid having too. I hope it stays that way – unless I attract a troll – that could be interesting, lol! However, I don’t think there is anything anyone would say that we haven’t already said to ourselves in our heads before. Thanks for your hugs and support and thank you so much for stopping by 🙂 Xx
Karin @ Calm to Conniption says
I completely agree with sharing stories to open the floor for others to resonate with your situation. I also understand your hesitation. I’m glad you have worked through that and are ready to tell your tale.
Yes, I think I really am ready Karin – I hope someone will be able to take something much needed away with them from my sharing, as I have taken away much needed nuggets from others sharing of stories. Thank you so much for stopping by Karin. 🙂 Xx
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
I agree, the blogging community is a great place to find a soft space.
Sharing allows for caring …
Thanks so much joining this week’s Lovin’ Life Linky and I look forward to your new series.
Thank you Leanne! I have faith the blogosphere shall be gentle with me – and if not? Well I deal with it then I guess. Yes, I think sharing of oneself is potentially a great act of kindness and caring – funny, I don’t think that of myself but I do think it of other people who share ha!
Thank you so much for stopping by Leanne. 🙂 Xx
I don’t get much bed hair keeping mine very very short now. I’ll bring tea .
I am glad you are back and yes I ‘ll be here.
I’m reluctant to write my stories after a dear friend had a terrifying experience, which is ongoing and has shattered her whole world.
Oh my goodness Trish! That sounds just horrible! I hope she is coming out the other side of it? It’s cruel that you can do things with the purest of intentions and have it turned into a nightmare by someone else. I can understand your reluctance.
I’ll bring tea next week too – it’s my preferred morning thing! My hair is very very short too but I still manage the bed hair. What’s your secret?
Thanks for stopping by Trish. 🙂 Xx